Dishpan Hands

My husband is a pessimist. I would go as far as saying that he (and his mother, he gets it honest) has turned pessimism into an art form. The first thing he says when you call him is, "Is something wrong?". He even has a list of places that he will not live because of the probability of some sort of natural disaster occurring there. No wonder the man doesn't sleep well. He is ALWAYS worrying about something. Today was a day he has been worrying about for several days, the dreaded crop survey. This is when the banker comes to the farm to look at the crops, I guess to make sure that the money we borrowed was actually spent on putting a crop in and not on some extravagant European vacation, who knows. I tried my best to be positive and encouraging this morning.....I even busted out in a chorus of Standing On the Promises. I called him after the meeting. This was basically our conversation...."So, how was your meeting?" "It was fine." "Well, what did he say?" "Not much, looks good." Really? All that stress and anxiety for nothing! But we all do it, don't we? The other night I was reading some of the entries in my prayer journal from last year. It is really cool to see answered prayers, but also sad at some of the things that I let upset me so badly. I have tried for years to put into words why I worry about things when I believe that God is in control of everything. Leave it to C.S. Lewis to find the words for me (by the way, I LOVE C.S. Lewis, we think on the same level.) "We're not doubting that God will do the best for us, we're wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." Exactly. Let's face it, we aren't really content just being comfortable, what we really want is to be pampered. Back in June my dishwasher broke. It didn't just break, it caught on fire. I have not had a dishwasher since. Now before you go feeling to sorry for me, let me be completely honest. It's not that I can't afford "A" dishwasher, the problem is that I can't afford "THE" dishwasher. You can buy a Plain Jane dishwasher for about $150. The one I want costs closer to $800. It's stainless steel, has special racks, runs quietly, etc., etc. Comfortable vs Pampered, and I am choosing to wait for Pampered. All that being said, I have still not failed to miss an opportunity to tell sympathetic ears how I have been hand washing my families dishes for 3 months. A true martyr of good stewardship, or as my friend Marcita would say, "suffering for Jesus." I have so much to learn about really appreciating the blessings I have been given. But God doesn't give up, He keeps using the little things to open my heart to all He has to offer me. And that is the biggest blessing of all!