Dishpan Hands

My husband is a pessimist. I would go as far as saying that he (and his mother, he gets it honest) has turned pessimism into an art form. The first thing he says when you call him is, "Is something wrong?". He even has a list of places that he will not live because of the probability of some sort of natural disaster occurring there. No wonder the man doesn't sleep well. He is ALWAYS worrying about something. Today was a day he has been worrying about for several days, the dreaded crop survey. This is when the banker comes to the farm to look at the crops, I guess to make sure that the money we borrowed was actually spent on putting a crop in and not on some extravagant European vacation, who knows. I tried my best to be positive and encouraging this morning.....I even busted out in a chorus of Standing On the Promises. I called him after the meeting. This was basically our conversation...."So, how was your meeting?" "It was fine." "Well, what did he say?" "Not much, looks good." Really? All that stress and anxiety for nothing! But we all do it, don't we? The other night I was reading some of the entries in my prayer journal from last year. It is really cool to see answered prayers, but also sad at some of the things that I let upset me so badly. I have tried for years to put into words why I worry about things when I believe that God is in control of everything. Leave it to C.S. Lewis to find the words for me (by the way, I LOVE C.S. Lewis, we think on the same level.) "We're not doubting that God will do the best for us, we're wondering how painful the best will turn out to be." Exactly. Let's face it, we aren't really content just being comfortable, what we really want is to be pampered. Back in June my dishwasher broke. It didn't just break, it caught on fire. I have not had a dishwasher since. Now before you go feeling to sorry for me, let me be completely honest. It's not that I can't afford "A" dishwasher, the problem is that I can't afford "THE" dishwasher. You can buy a Plain Jane dishwasher for about $150. The one I want costs closer to $800. It's stainless steel, has special racks, runs quietly, etc., etc. Comfortable vs Pampered, and I am choosing to wait for Pampered. All that being said, I have still not failed to miss an opportunity to tell sympathetic ears how I have been hand washing my families dishes for 3 months. A true martyr of good stewardship, or as my friend Marcita would say, "suffering for Jesus." I have so much to learn about really appreciating the blessings I have been given. But God doesn't give up, He keeps using the little things to open my heart to all He has to offer me. And that is the biggest blessing of all!

Living Like the Sun/Son

In the early 1300's the Persian poet, Hafiz, penned these words, "Even after all this time the Sun never says to the Earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky." We have a lot in common with the Sun. We both exist to provide light to this world we live in. If the Sun doesn't expect anything in return, why do we? After reading this quote, I started thinking about the last 10 or so times I got mad at someone or had my feelings hurt. What caused me to get upset? Every instance was a little different, but basically I was not being treated the way I thought I deserved to be treated. Something was not going my way or I was forced to adjust my behavior to accomadate someone else's mistake. Jesus tells us there are two rules we must follow. #1 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. And #2, love your neighbor as yourself. If you do both of these things to the very best of your ability, everything else will fall into place. Two little rules. Why in the world do we have so much trouble with them? Why would we rather read 100 Things You Can Do to Please God  than follow these two simple rules? Simple.....because to love like that means we have to ignore ourselves. Ignore our wants, our desires, our feelings. And lets face it, we don't want to do that. I mean, we are good people, right? We try to do nice things for other people. How dare someone not speak to me in the hallway at church! How dare they give all the credit to so-and-so when it is obvious that I worked on it way harder than they did! How dare my husband ask me to run errands for him tomorrow! Doesn't he realize everything I do around here? Nobody in this house appreciates me! I give and give and not a single thank you! Do they think those clothes just washed themselves? I can't believe how slow these people are driving! I am in a hurry! They need to take their "Sunday drive" somewhere else.....How much happier would we be if we just stopped expecting appreciation, recognition, and praise from other people? If we tried to live life the way Jesus commanded us to do? Look what happens with a love like that. It lights up the whole sky.